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October 10, 2010 / scherstuhl

After street tacos, how about street porn?

I hate to find truth in a stereotype, but since moving here I can’t even walk down my block without encountering heaps of hardcore porno.

I mean this literally. Just this morning, a stroll down Kenwood Avenue led me to this just one block from my door . . .

 

The streets are paved with golden showers.

 

So, smack in my path were VHS copies of Angel, All Over Me, Once in A Blue Moonand me without my porn-galoshes! The tapes themselves seem to have been claimed already, which invites amusing speculation: did some hard-up dude dig through these this morning, slipping out the cassettes?

 

29th & Kenwood: In the heart of this sweet, sunny neighborhood lurk hot XXX debu-sluts.

 

A copy of Sensuous Cocksuckers lay a couple feet away. Funny friends later pointed out what an absurd and redundant title this is: isn’t the sensuous implied?

Then, for a laugh, we plugged power-adjectives from resume guides into the title in place of sensuous: diligent, enterprising, self-starting, methodical, team-player.

Anyway, after snapping these shots, I angled myself to capture Sensuous Cocksuckers, too, but a pair of neighbor kids were circling on their bikes, giggling like mad.

My zeal to document this silliness fell away. Suddenly, I faced a genuine moral condundrum: should I stuff this filth into the large box nearby and then dispose of it properly?

Or would that be worse? I mean, would it land me in the clink to snap photos of a porn pile and then collect the evidence as young boys look on?

I hightailed it.

When I left, more kids were gathering, laughing but awed.

Oh, Los Angeles! Of all the L.A.’s in the world, you’re the L.A.-iest!

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